A Blog About Life… Isn't That Unusual?

Another thing that people ask me is, “How long should I wait after a relationship before I get into another?”

Variables play a HUGE roll in this, guys. This question simply cannot be answered with a “formula.” (You know, that formula… x = past relationship duration / 2 or whatever the fuck…) The best way to answer this question in by meeting criteria. And for that criteria, I have this:

• Quit being butt-hurt¹
• Quit longing for the past relationship and understand that no other one will ever be like the past again.
• Be able to be with someone, and not think about the other – RESTRAIN FROM COMPARING.²
• Be realistic³

¹- You know, whether you did the breaking up, or they did. If that relationship meant a damn thing, it hurts it’s over. There is a “calming,” period that should be mandatory for everyone. This is the time where you may want to just cry, be alone, or be with others if that’s your thing… During this time you are free to have irrational thoughts, but be sure to not act on them. That’s typically unhealthy.

²- When you’re with whoever you might consider dating, you need to realize that they are an individual. Comparing this person to the past is unfair, in both good and bad ways. That thought, “Oh, well my LAST girl never did this…” or, “Well shit, I never had this fight with ____” Is unnecessary. As well as comparing any two people.

The only exception to this rule is sex. Chances are, the first person you ever had it with will pop into your head. As frowned upon that is, it’s normal. So are any other past partners. Basically, try to keep this to a minimum, and DONT SAY THE WRONG NAME. (Haha, see? I can be funny too.)

³- I just want to amend on to this. Don’t trick yourself. Don’t fake emotions. Don’t say, “I’m over that,” if you’re really not. That’ll only confuse the hell out of the other person, and possibly yourself. Those people who’re always in and out of relationships are the ones who can’t seem to abide by this rule.

The other half of this IS time-based. I don’t care how short or long your past relationship was, or how fast you can get over things; take some damn time off. You can tie this is with the first rule: that “calming,” time is a gateway to a successful relationship in the future.

I just had to get these thoughts out. I figure maybe if I write about it I’ll actually remember this when people ask me. If anyone has any other criteria, please comment. I’ll sort out the good and bad ones, and probably update this post.

Lately, a lot of people have been asking me, “If I could take anything in life back, what would if be? and why?”

Typically, when asked this, I used to just give some BS answer about one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. But this time I actually thought about it, and this is my new response:

I wouldn’t take anything back – nothing. What ever mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve hurt, tragedies I’ve witnessed, and whatever else negative happened… has ultimately made me me. After some strong consideration, I’ve concluded that it sucks being me, but I like who I am in total, and I’d rather not be anyone else.  So in order to successfully answer the question (being, there HAS to be SOMETHING to take back), I’d have to regret something positive; which is completely screwed up to do. Erase good memories? Who’d do that – I wont.

The final option: Take back something neutral or insignificant. I could regret running outside with no shoes on once, but that’s not, “good enough,” for people. I could regret not going to eat with my family, and missing some conversation or something. That’s also not very cool though. Hell, I could even regret not faking sick more often; but school was probably more important.

My point is: Regret is, to me, becoming more and more pointless. I understand pain, both emotionally and physically, and I’ve experienced both extensively. When it comes down to it though, that pain, that anger, that fear; all those experiences are what has molded ME. My imperfect past has only influenced me in a positive manner, and it’d be foolish of me to regret being a better person, right? Therefore, I’ll take nothing back, and continue my existence being more capable than I’d ever be if I had taken any other option.