After multiple failures of friendships, relationships, and many other social catastrophes, I’ve come to realize… I’ve lost humanity.

Not faith in humanity, that has been dead long long ago. But -my- humanity. I no longer feel like a person, a human being. When being around what friends I do have, I no longer have connections in the conversations they have. I have no input for the topics. Half of the time, I completely blank out on what they’re talking about.

Perhaps I’m just too caught up in all the shit going on inside my head, that I don’t have the ability to focus on the outside environment. I don’t believe that to be true, however. I just feel a complete lack of connection to other human beings.

This means I’m stuck. Not being able to make new friends, not being able to further the friendships I do have.