Four years ago at this time, my family and I had just gone through what could have been the most traumatic thing we’ve been through: the death of my grandmother. I remember how I felt after that time – vividly.

Everything was empty, cold, quiet. When I heard noise, it was always hollow sounding. I couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of death, and because this was the first time someone extremely close to me had passed away, I felt as if a part of me had died too. For weeks, I simply thought about the last two weeks of her life. I was miserable.  I couldn’t focus on anything – essentially, I was thrown into depression because of this. Nothing was comforting me: Family, friends, anything; nothing would help. I clinged to my music for sanity and answers. These are the lyrics to the song that ran repeatedly through those very lingering weeks…

 

Demon Hunter – “Carry Me Down”

And if you see me losing ground
Don’t be afraid to lie
I know the pain inside my heart can’t break the fear inside of yours
And if you see me losing faith
In what it means to die
Don’t let me leave before I know what lies behind the stained glass doors

Save sorrow for the souls in doubt
Bleed every care out

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day
With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight
When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray
Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain

For every word we never spoke
We have a tear to cry
For every silence like a wall between a better you and I
So if you see me losing sight
Of all the death in life
You’ll find the peace in every time I failed to see the death in mine

Let all the fear inside you drown
Tear out the blade and lay it down
Save sorrow for the souls in doubt
Bleed every care out

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day
With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight
When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray
Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain

Oh, the blood is rushing out
Oh, I’m better off without
Oh, the walls are closing in
Oh, sing for me again

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day
With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight
When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray
Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain
(Rain down, oh rain down, no care for the flood)