Everyone lately seems… occupied. Perhaps I’m just being anxious? I don’t know.

I just feel like people are only talking or doing anything with me to fill in gaps. I’m seeing straight through the masks they’re putting up, and only hurting myself in the end. I can’t bring this up with anyone, because I’d rather not be wrong and offend them. Yet, most of the time, I am right…

We’ll put this into perspective:

Person A, B, and C – being everyone else, and not one particular person.

 

Person A:

I like this person a lot. And over the last four days, I’ve managed to ruin anything you and I may have ever had. Upon approaching you about whether we’d ever be able to continue, you played dumb, made up excuses, and ignored my question for TWO DAYS. In the end, my final answer was: “I just don’t know.” – This speaks a hell of a lot louder than the words it has… Basically, you are letting me chase you around, while you are going to turn your back on me. I’m supposed to “not be disappointed,” by this. This is true pain.

 

Person B:

You’ve been there for me through the loss of person A and whatnot. I do appreciate the friendship we have, and wouldn’t want to change it… sadly, it is changing. You helped me regain a friend I lost many months ago… Sadly, he likes you, and I don’t see you being as stable as you once were. I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to be comfortable talking to you, when you lie to my face, and are probably doing the same shit with my new-old friend…

 

Person C:

You’ve always been preoccupied with something else. Everyone is narcissistic. What you tell me, is rarely how it really is. I do my best at representing myself, as me, no matter what the situation may be. You do exactly the opposite, however. You be whoever will be most liked with the given situation. Which means when you are in a different place, you’re an entirely different being. It’s hard to like anyone who changes as often at you.

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I just wish I could be #1 to someone, something, sometime, again. I miss not being life and everything’s back burner. Life sucks, that’s all. :|