It’s one of those nights. I’m sitting in my apartment, Arrika is in bed, I’m on the deck, enjoying a beer and the scenery… the back of a bar, how pleasant.<\/p>\n
It’s these nights that I try my hardest to figure out my overall situation in life; what’s my big problem, and what is the big solution? I always come up empty handed.<\/p>\n
I think about my status in life, am I happy with my life, my job, my lover, my everything – myself. Gladly, I am. I like what I do, I enjoy where I live, I enjoy who I live with, and I have nothing against myself. So what is wrong?<\/p>\n
I feel like I could just tear this world apart.
\nI could burn it into the ground.
\nI could laugh as its ashes blow away in the wind.
\nI could walk away from it all, pretending I never gave a shit about any of it.
\nHell, most of the time, I WANT to do that. But my conscience leads me back to where where any other normal person would be. Damn that thing.<\/p>\n
Somehow, after pondering for half an hour, I think about who in really care about. There’s obviously a few people: my parents, girlfriend, friends in general; then something weird happens – I care about those who don’t care about me: my coworkers, the people I supervise, and other people that really only see me as a person they will have to be around for a few years at most. <\/p>\n
Maybe this is my fault, that I put in the effort to care about those who don’t care back. Should I even bother? Why give a crap about anyone who isn’t going to care back? Is the fact that they don’t care what really irks me? Pointless energy wasted on trying to maintain one-sided friendships.<\/p>\n
Friendships. Maybe that’s where my life needs improvement. I need to decide who can be friends with me, and who I can be friends with. And then, actually work on those relations.<\/p>\n
Bottom line: I need closer friends. Physically, and otherwise. I’m screwed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s one of those nights. I’m sitting in my apartment, Arrika is in bed, I’m on the deck, enjoying a beer and the scenery… the back of a bar, how pleasant. It’s these nights that I try my hardest to figure out my overall situation in life; what’s my big problem, and what is the [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=515"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/515\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":516,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/515\/revisions\/516"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloggersden.org\/blogs\/nick\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}